How I came to know Jesus

Leo Calderon

God used Zeny.

Ours was a quick marriage. We met on December 24, 1979 and got married on January 30,  1980. After 6 months, I left for Saudi Arabia, worked in the Engineering M&O Department of Saudi Arabia National Guard Complex.

Zeny, with my blessing, opted to cultivate her relationship with God, instead of returning to clinical practice. She took to studying the Bible, individually and in prayer meetings. She took short courses in Christian ministry. This was fine with me because it seemed to give her time to write to me every other day, making me the topnotcher in the mail receiving section at the office and my colleagues envied me. Nevertheless, the spirit of loneliness that ruled Saudi prevailed on me, more of the loneliness of the others drew them to me and weakened my reserve. And I had a girl, like my friends had.

One day Zeny called up from the Philippines inquiring about the truth of my having a girl. I was dumbfounded. Fear gripped me because I hated to tell a lie but I didn't want to hurt my wife. Then the fear of hurting Zeny made me lie and deny the affair. She did not argue nor probe. She just asked me to to resign and come home. It did not seem possible at that time because of the stage of my work but I will try. Concern for the girl I would have to leave behind was there. But the conviction that marriage is for keeps and Zeny is my wife made me choose to go home and be with her, build our home together with the children we will have and enjoy. The quick joys of a fling or the secret pleasures of adulterous relationships would not be worth the trouble from petty jealous quarrels I used to witness as a child. Our home then  was a showcase of the destructive rage of an embittered wife caused by my father's other girls. Now, it's my turn and I am not about to give up on that dream of the quiet clean joy of a  loving family. However, if I go home to pursue this dream, what happens to my pursuit for financial stability to start my home? I look up from my drawing table and see the card my wife  had sent me the week before. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. Indeed! What more assurance do I need? The desire to put things right with my wife, my dream, and God's Word caused me to resign from my job and go home to my wife Zeny in the Philippines.

I had often wondered how my wife could have known my well-kept secret. In none of her  almost daily letters did she indicate any suspicion of my fidelity that would make her investigate. Then I saw in a vision, on my way to the office, of her and God talking, God telling  her about me. That's it! No detectives nor squealers needed. Okay I said to myself, there is no point telling a lie. God is on her side.

Zeny welcomed me home and made me feel comfortable by not mentioning the other girl.  Sunday came and she invited me to this charismatic fellowship where the dynamic preacher is not a priest and people clapped their hands and sang songs for hours. It was standing room but  an usher led Zeny to a seat leaving me standing with other guys; I felt terrible without my wife beside me in a strange place. Zeny was joyful and excited, disappointed only when I said  we were not coming back to this place again. Instead we will go back to our old church. For the next three Sundays we went. On the third, I notice Zeny crying, from the corner of my eye.  On our way home, I asked what was troubling her. She said,I was grieving that the people around us at church were not hearing the Word of God spoken by the priest. They were busy doing  their own thing, doing the rosary and novena. I was also grieving about my broken promise to God not to pray before idols anymore.

"Okay, we will go to a church without idols next Sunday but please not to a  variety show."

We did go to this quiet church where the people were friendly and did not clap nor raise  their hands when they sang to the accompanient of the church organ, no loud drums.This solemnity suited me.

The week that followed was tremendously wonderful. I woke up one midnight and noticed my  wife in the corner of our room reading by candlelight the Bible. She took care not to turn on the light that might wake me and was keen on what she was doing that amazed me.That Zeny  could spend most of her time praying and reading her Bible made me curious. Her waking hours she spent with me, her should-be-sleeping hours she spends on the Bible. What is so special  about this book? With an urge to find it out, I also began reading my Bible. I enjoyed the old testament especially David's life and adventure. I came to realize that God speaks and leads  his people to their welfare and future full of hope. God would lead David to his victories simply because he asked God and God answered.

The nights that followed brought me these three prophetic dreams leading to my  conversion.

1. I saw myself holding a coffee mug with a  cockcroach in it. I drank it anyway, then threw up. Zeny interpreted it as my sin of adultery that I committed even  knowing it was filthy.
2. The second dream is a picture of my 12 brothers  and sisters riding with me on horses, dressed like knights of the round table with lances and shields. We were like black knights clashing with the white knights. There was a  concerted clash, then as we drove back to our positions, I find myself on the side of the white knights and had become their ally. Zeny interpreted the white knights as God's angels. They have drawn me to the side of the Kingdom of God .
3. The third dream is the picture of heaven. I saw  myself in a white big house where people dressed in white are peaceful and joyful. The situation is like a session in congress. Then I saw myself on top of a mountain with two men I  had not met before. Light from heaven came down upon us three and I heard a voice saying: This is my son... Many people witnessed this event and the catholic priest among them  was cowering in fear.Then I went down the mountain and met people in procession honoring the Sto. Nino led by our wedding godmother. I spoke in the Name of Jesus and saw  lightning from heaven strike at the image and statue carried by people on their shoulders. Then I saw another picture of burly men looking like seasoned goons. I hurled them with  one hand and threw them into panic. I saw myself in the camps of the american army and the soviet army where both were grappling for power and control and domination.Zeny said that God is calling me into his kingdom and ministry.

Her interpretations more than amused me  because an inner witness I felt somehow told me she is accurate. Because of these dreams and interpretations, I got excited about the Bible and knowing the Lord. Sunday came and I told my  wife to go with me to the fellowship where they sing for hours, clap and raise their hands, and the preacher is dynamic.

As the congregation was singing, I saw  visions of God and his angels. The congregation singing and praising God were not people anymore but multitude of angels worshiping God. The Lord flashed to me as if on a screen the sins  I committed from my early childhood up to the time I got home from Saudi. The love of God came upon me and I broke into tears of repentance. One by one, as the sins flashed I asked God to  forgive me. He did. I received Jesus into my life and made a covenant of love with him. I told Zeny about God's visitation at the fellowship and she rejoiced with me. On that sunny day of  May 1982, we went home with pure hearts willing to fast and pray and meditate on God's word some more, knowing that our life together would take a different course, this time for good. 

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modified 06/29/01 07:52 AM